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Monday, April 21, 2014

My Lasts by Lindsay Asta; TCOT owner

As the delivery of my new (and last) baby approaches I am having such mixed feelings. So excited to meet this beautiful, perfect little one and yet willing the days to slow down at the same time. My three oldest children (2, 4 and 8) are just growing up way too fast. I love each new and exciting chapter with them and love to see the amazing people they are turning into. With that said, it's all the lasts that are making me heavy hearted.

My oldest son just lost his last front tooth. He picks out his own clothes. He gets himself ready in the mornings. I can't remember the last time he wanted to snuggle up and cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. When I tucked him in and kissed him goodnight on the eve of his 8th birthday a few weeks ago I cried like a baby! I wonder, how much does he really need me for these days? When will he be too old and too cool to hug me and tell me he loves me before leaving for school? When will I be completely uncool to him?

With my four year old son I just keep wondering...is this his last nap? Is this the last time he will cuddle up and ask me to hold him so he can fall asleep?  I can't believe this fall he will be in pre-k and it will be his last year of preschool...unbelievable, it feels like he were just born. Will he even need me to hold his hand on his first day of kindergarten? He plays soccer and goes out to play with the "big boys". He goes to preschool and then surprises me with everything he learns...(insert sigh here)

And my baby girl, I am unsure how she is already two! She tells me we are best friends, will she always say that? Right now she need your mama to fall sleep, comforting arms to hold you tight, when will be the last time until you too, won't need your mama so much? All this little girl wants to do is play babies and make-up, Minnie Mouse dress up and do hair and nails...with me! Will she always love to spend time and share all her favorite things with me?

I know we have so much to look forward to, but am I alone in missing all the lasts? We get so excited about the firsts in life...baby's first smile, their first words and steps...first day of preschool and kindergarten. How about the last diaper you changed or the last bottle you gave them or the last time they nursed. What was the last bedtime story you told them. It's all these things I will miss with my older children as I prepare to welcome our last baby.

So, I will continue to try to live in the moment. Enjoy each and every thing, because even in that moment I might not be having very much fun, but because it just might be their "last".

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